Confession!!!

I have some confessions.......

I'm not sure if you will believe or even understand what I am going to say but I feel like God wants me to say it. What is "IT"??? Well...... its my confessions about my life.
1) Since I was about 12 years old I decided that I wanted to be a Children's Minister/ Director. I loved being around children, baby sitting younger children in the church, teaching Children's Church, leading VBS game time, starting a children's reach out program through operation inasmuch, from doing skits for children, and going to children's camps all summer long. For some people watching and being around children for more than an hour is more than they can handle but, not for me. I could be around them all day and find peace and joy in every moment that came along the way. However; here is one of my confessions that I'm not proud of. I haven't been following God when it comes to him leading me to work with children. You see I have been so focused on what I WANT and HOW I WILL do things when the future comes. Do you see and understand what's wrong with what I just said? I haven't let God lead me or teach me about anything that I need to know about teaching and leading the children.
2) I have let everyone who has ever looked up to me or has seen me as a role model down. :(
You see when you are a role model or a leader that someone goes to for advice you should be grounded in the Lord. A great role model will influence you to read your bible and to pray everyday to God. A leader will check up on you to just say I hope you have a great day. They pray to God and ask you to have a great day. When a hard day hits you like a ton of bricks that leader is ready to answer the phone and calm you down. Showing and telling you that the storm might be huge right now but soon the waves will slowly calm down. They make you laugh and smile and brighten your day. They are your hero! Here's where confession #2 comes in..... I am not a role model, leader or a hero. I act like no one else has problems and life is all about me. I imagine that the world would stop if I wasn't there to keep it going. I have made myself believe that I am this amazing leader who is helping people left and right but this is not true. I have become a selfish person who pushes the needs of others aside. I am not proud of who I have become.
3) I am not who you think that I am! I have pushed everyone out of my life keeping secrets, holding in anger, holding in pain, holding back tears from rolling down my face. I have become invisible by not allowing anyone in my life and pushing others away from the real Sam. Instead I just keep at everyone at a distance so that way I can't get hurt. But by doing this I have caused myself so much pain and heart break....... I feel so alone, empty, lost, confused and unloved. Now I know what your thinking "Sam, I love you, I care about you, I am here for you" but your not understanding what I am saying. I wont let you people in my life because when I do it always leads to pain and heartache. I am afraid of people leaving me and not wanting me. I am afraid that people don't want me around and that I just get in the way. However; when I keep people out of my life and push them away I feel like the pain isn't there and that everything is okay. I have a best friend above all the rest. He has been there for me over these past few years when I thought I wouldn't be able to make it through another day. I love my best friend with all my heart but here comes confession #3. I have allowed my heart to become like stone. Even my best friend in the world I have pushed away. I have let anger in my heart and pushed him away from me without him even knowing. No longer do I tell him when I'm upset or when I was hurt but I just lied and put on my fake smile for everyone to see. I have hidden away the real me and put up a front that everything is great.

Confession #1 - I am not the person that God wants me to be when it comes to leading children and teaching them about Jesus.
Confession #2- I am not the role model that God wants me to be when it comes to leading the youth and younger children at my church.
Confession #3- I am not the inspiring person that God wants me to be when it comes to being a true follower of Christ.

I would like to apologize to everyone who reads this blog. I have become selfish, cruel and conceited. I have forgotten everything that the Bible teaches about loving others, teaching others, and not being two-faced. This is not the person I should be. God has so much planned for my life and I have let him down big time :(
I have also let everyone else who knows me down. Please forgive me for becoming more like a statue than a loving and supporting young woman that God is molding me to be.

This is my confessions, Lord please help me.

My calling!

                                                          We all have a calling from God!
The big question is, do you believe that you have a calling?
Do you believe that the God of the universe has a purpose for your life?

If you are reading this than you probably know me pretty well, which means that you know how much that I love working with children! I have believe that everyone has a calling! This morning God gave me the exact reassurance of my calling. You see my youth minister Chris was preaching at another church this morning so with the help of another lady, I got to lead KFC( kids for Christ, basically children's church). I picked songs to sing that had motions and that's where the amazing experience began. I got all the children dancing and moving to the songs. All you saw in the room was smiles and laughter. Then we played fun games that I also lead. The awesome part is that I got all the kids to follow after me and play the game. The kids listened when I spoke. They loved the game and the music. The sermon I acted out to help the kids get a better understanding of the story of Jesus being taken away by the guards! By the end of KFC the kids had the biggest smiles on their faces! The parents soon came in and the kids ran to them and began telling them all about the fun and great times that we had that morning. Several new kids who had never came before started asking their parents if they could come every Sunday!!!! This brought a huge smile to my face as the children thanked me as they left to go home!

I have been struggling with my "calling" in life. I sometimes thought and wondered what or how could God use someone like me?!? I have always been great with working and leading children. By the time I was 12 I was put in charge of a group of kids at VBS and my leadership from then took off. I continued to lead children from VBS to children's church, to summer camps, to working at day cares! Working with children is not hard or overwhelming or even annoying to me! Instead, working with children is amazing, wonderful, fun! God has given me the gift of being able to work with and to be able to understand children of all different types. I love working and being around children! Working with kids is my calling! God this morning helped show me that, working with kids is where he wants me to be! Thank you God for that reminder!

                          MY calling is working with kids!

                                          Whats yours?

Remove the labels

Remove the labels!

This may hurt your feelings or make you mad at me but I really don’t care at what you have to say about this because it is so wrong. I want what I have to say to wake you up and make you think, because what is going on is not right.

I meet a man and woman today after work was closed who changed my life. The man looked at me with tears in his bright blue eyes as he began to speak, he asked if I had a minute to talk and I told him I did. He told me how he was homeless. He said that him and the woman were traveling and got in trouble with their car and got stranded in here Asheville. I asked him if he had a place to stay. He replied with a shaky voice saying that they slept in the woods in a tent that they had built with materials that they managed to recover from the dumpsters around town. He said they found blankets and try to keep warm but lately with the temperatures dropping it has been difficult to remain warm in these conditions. He told me how he would give up layers of clothes and blankets to make sure the woman he was with stayed warm. I asked him if he had food and he said that they hadn’t been able to afford any so I went and got what we had left over that they would throw out and gave it to them. They were overwhelmed with joy to see all that I had given them, even though; to me it was very small. I asked him if he applied for any jobs or if he was even looking for a job and he told me that he applied all over the Asheville area but nobody would consider him because he smelled and didn’t have nice clothes to wear to the interview. Did you just hear what I said? They wouldn’t give him even a chance because he smelled and didn’t have nice clothes. This is ridiculous. Here is a man trying to change his circumstances and yet nobody will even give him a chance. He started crying as he began to tell me that he was kicked out of several places that he tried to stay warm in because they didn’t want them to lose customers over having “hoboes” in their store. After I heard this I felt tears in my eyes and anger grew in my heart.

1st- WE ARE CALLED TO HELP OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS. We are “supposed” to be there for each and every person in our world who needs help. Even if that is a homeless guy you don’t know that smells or your boss at work. We are called to reach out and help in every way we can.

2nd- WE ARE CALLED TO LOVE. Do you know what the real meaning of love is? It means to show compassion, mercy, love is not prideful, it does not boast, love shows no anger, love sees no class, love sees no price tag. Real love is found in your heart when you see someone for not what they have but for whom God has made them to be.

3rd- WE ARE GOD ON EARTH. Everything we do, say, think, and watch all shows who God is to us. People are constantly watching our lives to see how we live and to see if we follow and do what we say we believe. If we don’t get out of our comfort zones then we will never see the hurt and need around us.

Every day of our lives God places people that we will meet and or come in contact with, that we are called to help in some way. My heart was broken when the man told me he was so confused on why I let him talk to me. He said that most people just see him as a guy with the label “homeless”. No one would even give him a chance for him to show the great man underneath. Yet, he said that when he was talking to me it was like the label “homeless” was gone and was replaced with “equals”. For a few short minutes that we talked the man said he felt like he was normal and that he could do or be anything he wanted. It touched my heart to hear him say this. As our conversation came to an end I gave him some money that I had and a few coupons for other restaurants so he could get a nice hot meal.

What makes me so mad about this is how self- centered we have become. We won’t get out of our bubbles, our comfort zones to help others. We have become consumed in money, sex, drugs, drinking, clothes, shoes, accessories, cars, expensive houses. We have become so focused on trying to show-off and impress everyone like friends, co-workers, family and better yet out fellow brothers and sisters that we go to church with. We focus on making sure that we have the best life and that we get everything we could want but what we don’t realize is how much we are actually missing out on. We all need to change the way we live and think. It’s not about any of those things that I previously listed. What life is about is showing God’s love and reaching out. We need to stop being so selfish and then become selfless.

An unknown author once quoted- it’s better to live a self -emptied where you give more than you receive, love more than your loved, care more than ever and try with all your heart than live a self-centered life where you only focus on you needs and wants. So my question for you the reader of this is, are you willing to change and do what God has called us to do or are you going to stay in your safety box while others are in need of our Gods love?

The choice is yours and you’re alone but, next time you see some “homeless guy” try this. Remove the label homeless and change it brother or sister in need. Maybe then you’ll see exactly what I experienced tonight. Life’s not about material things. Remove the label and set your heart free.

~Sam(God's Masterpiece)~

MASTERPIECE

Masterpiece.

Websters dictionary defines this word as:
              1. a work of outstanding artistry, skill, or workmanship.
              2. an artists or craftsman best piece of work.

          The Bible talks about the word masterpiece in the book of Ephesians 2:10, which says "For WE are God's MASTERPIECE, he has created us ANEW in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago". I don't know if you fully understand what God just said about us, his children. He said that we are his masterpiece. That's absolutely mind-blowing to me. According to Websters Dictionary a masterpiece is an artists BEST piece of work. That means that the God of the universe who has millions of things on his mind, never forget about even the smallest person. God took time and hand-crafted, slowly molded us together piece by piece until he looked at what he created and he called it a masterpiece. God took you from a pile of scraps, dirt, nothing but empty and useless clay and took you in his hands and became to form the magnificent person that he knew would one day change the world. God didn't just throw you together in a quick minute and say I'm finished, or yeah, i think this will due. NO! That's not what the lord of the universe is like. He takes time, energy, love, affection, compassion and soul into forming who you will be in your mothers womb. We were made perfectly in the eyes of the lord, without fault, and not broken. We were created so that we may reach the world and full-fill God's plan for our lives.

 

         Do you remember as a kid or maybe you still do them know, the paint by number pictures that they sold at craft stores. I remember walking to the shelf at the craft store and seeing these amazing pictures that looked wonderful on the outside and the box read "all ages". I don't know about you but my end painting never looked like the box that it came in. However; unlike me, God is a much better painter. You see our lives are like a paint-by-numbers picture. God is slowly, beautifully, wonderfully painting and blending different pieces of the picture of our lives. The savior of the world is never finished with the work that he began within us. He continues to add more and more as the days go. We will never get to see the final picture while on earth, but there is hope. Hope comes in when you look at it in a different view. God is never finished with us! When you become depressed after being called names, after being laughed at, after crying yourself to sleep, even in your darkest hours, God is siting there painting away trying to show you the brighter side that's just around the corner if only you continue to keep fighting.
         I struggle daily with believing that I am God's masterpiece. BUT..... when you think about this verse and how God took us from nothing and put us in hands and began to mold us into a masterpiece. The God of the world who has plenty of other things to do took time to stop and carefully create me. When he was finished he looked back at me from a distance and said, " Sam you are my masterpiece, you are the reason that I died on the cross. You my child, were well worth it all". As I look and read more about who God is and the plan he has for my life I come to realize that my painting has just begun. God has so much that he wants to paint. If I only let him continue to let him paint.


~Sam(God's Masterpiece)~